One Crappy Profile Example

There’s a lot online about what a great personal profile looks like on dating sites. There isn’t a lot of information about what makes a horrible one. We spent some time online and pulled out what we think is the absolute worst personal profile we’ve ever seen and we’re going to throw up some choice bits here. If this is you, we’re really not sorry; someone needed to call you on that shit. Be thankful.

The Novel to End All Novels

"Stop writing - that is enough!"

“Stop writing – that is enough!”

This bad boy clocked in at more words than the last novel we were supposed to read for English Lit. It was definitely more words than the cliffs notes we actually did end up reading. It started, no joke, with preschool and ended up going, in a grand, mulch-paragraph format, through his whole damn life. It’s no wonder you’re not getting a date dude, no one cares about all that mess. If a chick wants to date you some of that shit can come out during the DATE, don’t you think? It’s best to keep profiles short. Never go over about 600 words. Anything more than that is going to cause her eyes to glaze over and for her to just click shift right on by.

PICTURES GALORE

"Don't flood your profile with images"

“Don’t flood your profile with images”

This guy may in fact, be in love with himself. He’s got exactly then hojillion photos of himself, all in the same stupid white athletic shorts with his boxers showing and his shoulders rolled like he thinks he’s a goddamn bull. We are uncertain if he goes outside or not. He may, he’s pretty tan. Who knows really what he likes either. See, a chick does want to know what you look like. But she also wants to see you interacting with others in photos. Pictures give a chick insight into what you’re like in the outside world. They also give her an idea of what to expect when she’s dating you. Do you own a car? Is it paid off? How about a house? These things are important and go a long way in luring in the best babes. Pictures of just you pretending to be a model are not going to impress anyone.

Someone Thinks Highly Of Himself

Aside from the long narrative style of this guy’s personal history, he called the day of his birth a ?blessing to the world?. Look, the only chick who thinks that is your mom. Not only that, but the jackass went on to call himself a personal philosopher, and a ?lover of the world?. Corny as shit, that. Not only that, but really, if you’re going to wax philosophical about yourself, no chick is going to be interested. It just makes you seem like you’re full of yourself.

If it couldn’t get worse, the dude then proceeded to paint himself as some sort of great warrior against the injustice of a society that just wanted to keep him down. He told a ?hero’s tale? about how he was rebounding from a woman that hurt him, and how he doesn’t trust ?bitches? anymore. Yeah… good luck with that.

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