“Don’t get too attached”
If you’re a student teacher or a college professor, doubtless you’ve been tempted by the gorgeous young girls that file in and out of your classroom on a daily basis. Relax, temptation is normal – you’re in a relationshipwith a wife or serious, long-term girlfriend and while you probably love them and want to maintain that stable relationship, it’s hard to resist those young 20-somethings that smile at you every day, consider you the highest form of intellectual authority and always want to know your opinions on things. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking of dating one of those girls on the side, or even gone so far as to start up an affairwith a college student in your class,there are some things to keep in mind.
If there’s one indiscretion that seems to keep becoming another, and then another and it becomes pretty clear you’re not going to end the affair, you can make it work. There’s a time and place for your affair to happen, and that’s outside of the classroom. If you’re new, secret college girlfriend is in your class, you have to be careful not to play favorites, or you’ll get other people talking. Don’t show her any special treatment (they say you shouldn’t do this when you’re a teacher at all, but hey – it happens) because nothing is a faster, more reliable indicator of a deeper relationship between teacher and student than a sudden change in behavior towards them, especially if she’s seen staying after class frequently to talk to you, and there’s only so many excuses of her needing advice on her paper or that night’s homework you or her can make up. You can make it work as long as you’re dedicated to keeping a low-key attitude, and she’s alright with not receiving any special treatment outside wherever the two of you meet to spend time together. The plus side to this is that your job will provide a variety of excuses to your wife or girlfriend – you can spend time with your fling and claim you were at work late grading papers and it’s entirely believable.
“Keep your relationship professional”
If you do decide you need to end the relationship, which may end up being better for both of you in the long run for the sake of propriety, it’s best to keep it professional. Let her know that you certainly didn’t mean to take advantage of her, and you’re not out to upset her, but it has to end. While there’s no law against having affairs with a student as long as she’s an adult, it’s frowned upon by most just because it can backfire on you so easily.If the situation ever gets out it could easily become a huge scandal (this is, however, a worst-case scenario and might not even happen to you if you ever find yourself in this situation) that could lead to you losing your job over a lack of willpower. If this is the type of girl you prefer for your affairs, discretion and cautiousness should be your most important qualities.